“If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. ” ~ Kristin Chenoweth

Here we are in the season of giving gifts of love to that special someone. How ‘bout we extend the idea of whom we consider special to any delightful person we want to say, “Hey, I love you.”

After years of making pretend that Valentine’s Day wasn’t happening, I realized this way of coping was actually taking more energy and created yet another experience of feeling different and left out.  I shifted and chose to claim the day of hearts and chocolates and make it my own celebration.  Dress it up to suit how I experience love – ANY kind of love.

I wasn’t in a romantic partnership for a number of years and was fortunate to have a dear friend with whom we started the tradition of sending each other Valentine’s Day cards.  This offered me a different way to experience Valentine’s Day that felt connecting and sweet.  This special exchange with my friend opened me up to possibilities.  To the idea of considering what works for me around holidays – was I choosing how I wanted to celebrate, or was it being imposed on me?  I began to check-in with what is meaningful to me around these celebrations and create my own rituals that add value to my experience and are a true expression of what matters to me.

Remember the tradition of giving all your classmates valentines?  We could have quite a conversation about the pros and cons of that ‘homework assignment’, but for now, let’s focus on the sweetness of sharing our love notes. Being able to sprinkle love on all of our classmates, maybe mixed in with a little extra something for the schoolmate who stirred up dreams, hopes and curiosities.

Whether you get that valentine or not, this year, I encourage you to step into loving yourself even more than you ever have.  Even if you have a romantic partner.  The idea that ‘you have to love yourself before another can love you’, actually holds a lot of truth about being human!  

What I do know is the more I loved myself and the more capable I was of trusting that someone could love me the better chance I had of choosing a partner who was truly worthy of my love.


Before figuring out this self-love stuff, my picker was way off.


Let’s choose to keep it simple.  If you want to engage in Valentine’s Day this year stay focused on love – love for yourself, what that means to you.  Notice where love shows up.  The feeling may show up as appreciation, gratitude, warm feelings and big heart connections.

Love yourself.  Love a friend. Love a stranger.  Love your dog.  Love your cat. Hand out any type of flower you love, gorgeous gooey chocolates and loving notes of appreciation.  Give your pet a treat.  Buy a loved one lunch. Find love in places you haven’t been looking. Consider who you love and why.  Can you feel it? 

Say, “Howdy, I love you,” to your best buddies. Send a card and a token of love.  

Ready? Share the love!

With Love ~ Nomi

“There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story.”  Mary Lou Kownacki


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